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27 November 2010 @ 08:05 pm
NaScreeWriMo - Day Twenty-Seven  

The carriage stops. Mira exits, not too surprised to see her WOLF ESCORTS - two big creatures, one on either side. They accompany her to the doors, which swing open on their own, just as they did the first time she arrived.

Mira enters--


The blank-faced manservant stands ready and waiting. He gestures toward the entrance to the corridor.

Mira joins him.


Mira enters, the blank-faced manservant remaining in the doorway behind her. Blocking the exit.

The Count sits in his usual spot, smiling beatifically.

You shouldn’t leave like that, my dear. You could
get hurt. I’m always happy to send the
carriage around for you.

Where is my husband?

I’m right here, of course.
Mira just stares at him, patient.

So you’re still quibbling over a few meaningless words? Fine,
we’ll have your little wedding. Sit down in the meantime,
have something to eat.
Mira sits, utterly calm. Beat.

I’m not afraid of you anymore. My son is safe.

Is he now? Unfortunately your father’s wagon has a
broken wheel. It’s quite immovable. I must admit,
I’m none too pleased with your father at the moment.
A chink in Mira’s armor.


The wagon almost level again. Miklos nails a piece of wood against the wheel axle, trying to strengthen it. The nail BENDS.

Blast! Girl, hand me another nail.
Inside the wagon, Ilka stares at Dominik, unable to look away. That alien look still on his face. That dark chuckle.

Movement catches Ilka’s eye. Past Dominik, up the riverbank, the first wolf can be seen. Hackles raised, growling.

Girl! A nail!
Ilka finally tears her eyes away. Turns, digs through one of the bags. Pulls out a handful of nails - shaking fingers drop most. She manages to lean over and give Miklos a few.

She whips back around. Dominik looks at her, quizzical.

What happened? Why did we stop?
No relief on Ilka’s face. Just wariness. She jumps when Miklos suddenly stands behind her.

Finished! Let’s get moving, girl.
Dominik looks more and more upset as Ilka continues to stare at him.



Let’s get moving.
Take the reins.
Ilka does, holding them in limp hands. Keeping an eye on Dominik out of her peripheral vision. Miklos pantomimes and Ilka repeats the gesture, slapping the reins up and down.

The horses start - the wagon moves forward. Miklos walks beside, keeps an eye on the wheel.

Ilka looks back up the riverbank. The wolf is gone.

The horses’ front hooves step onto the bridge.


The wolves are upon them.

The horses scream, jerk forward. The reins and bridle SNAP - the horses break free of the wagon, run across the bridge.

A wolf LEAPS onto Miklos. He grapples with it, trying to keep its fangs away from his throat.

Ilka grabs Dominik, shakes him.

Stop! Stop this, damn you!
Dominik just laughs at her.


Ilka searches, frantic, finds a KNIFE. She goes to the edge of the wagon.

Red blood spreads over the surface of the snow.

Ilka moans, leans back. Dominik is beside her, dangling a chubby little hand down to pet the wolf’s head.

Ilka pushes herself away from the boy, knife still in hand. Eyes a little mad.


Mira sits. Still. Waiting. The blank-faced manservant fills her wine glass - that dark red liquid. Bathory raises his own glass.

Drink with me.
Mira lifts her glass. POURS the wine out on the floor. Then she DROPS the glass. It shatters.

You do brighten up the day. I almost wish I didn’t
have to break you.

Where is Samuel?
A plate is set before her, the cover withdrawn. Mira doesn’t look at it, just stares ahead at Bathory.

Are you going to eat?

Where is my husband?

For someone who spent her childhood in such a wealthy
home, you are quite rude to the servants. Really,
Mira, you never even say ‘thank you.’
Mira picks up the plate - beautifully arranged, delicious food - and drops it on the floor. She turns to the servant who set it in front of her.

The servant is SAMUEL. He stares forward with the same vacant, blank expression as the others.

Samuel. Samuel!
She jumps up, throws her arms around him. But it’s like hugging a block of wood. Mira pulls back, tries to get Samuel to look at her.

Samuel, it’s me. I’m here. Samuel!
No response. Bathory grins in the background, as though he is enjoying some theater.

Look at me. Samuel. It’s me, it’s
Mira. Samuel!
She puts her hands on the side of his face. He finally seems to see her. He lifts a hand - slowly - and touches her hair. Lifts a lock to examine it. Mira smiles at him, encouraging.

The corner of Samuel’s mouth lifts in distaste. Then he LUNGES for Mira’s throat.

Mira cries out, shoves herself back. Samuel snaps his teeth together again, growling.

Samuel turns to the Count, teeth still bared. Bathory raises a finger. The vacant mask slips back down over Samuel’s face. He steps back against the wall.

Mira stares.

See, darling? Now we have a compromise. You
may see him whenever you wish. I think I’m
being quite reasonable, don’t you?
Mira just turns and RUNS.


Running. Her breathing loud - panicked gasps. Around the corner and there’s her stretch of hallway - the dragon tapestry between two doors. She enters--


And slams the door shut. Stands a beat.

singer_shapersinger_shaper on November 28th, 2010 03:12 am (UTC)
Wow -- the action, she is rising. I presume we'll find out how Dominik came to act all zombie-like? (I assume that Bathory did something to Samuel.)

Shannon: b5 delenn halfkungfuwaynewho on November 28th, 2010 05:32 pm (UTC)
Dominik's not so much a zombie as he's a conduit at the moment - which will become more explicit soon. And yeah, Bathory's turned Samuel into one of his minions.

It's pretty action-y from here on out, I think. I haven't...completely finished outlining, LOL.
Holly: Minihollywobbles on November 28th, 2010 03:15 pm (UTC)
Oh noes -- can't wait to see how we're going to get out of this one. :(
Shannon: drh cantkungfuwaynewho on November 28th, 2010 05:34 pm (UTC)
Well, it came about six pages too late (ever since a professor told me it HAD to be on page 72, for some reason that's become one of those things I always worry about even though it's totally arbitrary), this set of scenes are Mira and Ilka's nadirs. So this is kind of the darkest stretch.
nhpwnhpw on November 29th, 2010 01:18 am (UTC)
Samuel :(

I'm hoping for a Fix Everything ending, but I don't think that's where you're headed.
Shannonkungfuwaynewho on November 29th, 2010 04:05 am (UTC)
Fix Some Things? There will be Fix Some Things.

nhpwnhpw on November 29th, 2010 02:28 pm (UTC)
I can deal with fix some things. Really, this isn't a "fix everything" kind of story and it would probably detract from the ending if you all of a sudden decided they all lived happily ever after.
Shannon: b5 brigkungfuwaynewho on November 29th, 2010 04:35 pm (UTC)
Yeah, they've already gotten through relatively unscathed, all things considered.

I was actually thinking that there haven't really been many deaths up till now. Hmm. Shouldn't a vampire movie have casualties?
nhpwnhpw on November 29th, 2010 05:27 pm (UTC)
Maybe. But here's the thing. It still doesn't scream VAMPIRE STORY! at me. There has been no mention of elongated teeth or drinking blood - except with regard to Beta and Ilka. Mostly it's just blank-faced servants who could just as well be hypnotized or something, and a powerful demon-type antagonist.

FWIW, at this point, I'm also sort of regarding the blank-faced servants as casualties.
Shannonkungfuwaynewho on November 29th, 2010 06:05 pm (UTC)
In my very first outline (most of which was scrapped by the time I'd written 15 pages and things started to clarify more), I had a scene where Mira comes upon Bathory feeding on a girl from the village (which is why I bothered to name the village girls). I'm thinking that might be a good thing to go back and put in at some point.

I think the only thing that's really saying "vampire" at this point are the sort of genre tropes, though they could easily just say "gothic horror mystery." Which is okay, I guess; IDK. I'll have to think about it.
Holly: Bill sadface :(hollywobbles on November 29th, 2010 03:40 pm (UTC)
If you don't fix Samuel I'm going to cry. :(

(But don't let that stop you.)

(I guess.)
Shannon: bsg oath goodbyekungfuwaynewho on November 29th, 2010 04:33 pm (UTC)
Lord I love that icon.

Um, there will be fixing? But only for certain definitions of the word "fix." So.
Holly: A/R Oath kisshollywobbles on November 29th, 2010 04:51 pm (UTC)