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16 January 2011 @ 09:45 pm
NaScreeWriMo - Day Seventy-Seven  

Ilka walks, intimidated by the paintings of Bathory through the centuries. One in particular, Bathory standing on a pile of corpses, seems to stare right at her.

Ilka touches the SHORT SWORD at her side, gathers strength. She continues ahead.

A FIGURE at the other end of the hall. It’s almost too dark to see - just the slightest touch of moonlight on an outline. But Ilka knows who it is.

The girl steps forward, more clearly visible. A beat, as they stare at each other. Erzsebet holds out her hand. Ilka thinks, then joins her daughter, who leads her away.


Ilka and Erzsebet enter. Ilka has a hard time stepping over the infant skeletons, but stops dead at the pile of DUST in the center of the aisle.

It’s Father.
Erzsebet walks right through the dust. Ilka carefully picks her way over it. They make their way to the altar.

Erzsebet opens the chest, takes out the vial of blood. Offers it to Ilka.

(mostly to herself)
The blood of Saint Briccius. It’s been returned.
Janos told me long ago that the Count had taken it,
and I should retrieve it. But I didn’t believe it possible.
I was very young.
(looks at Erzsebet)
Why do you give this to me?

Drink it.

No! I will not.
Put it back in the chest. I won’t drink it.

Drink it.

You mean to kill me. Or worse.
Erzsebet just shakes her head. Ilka hesitates, then pulls a dagger out of her boot and scrapes away the wax sealing the vial shut. She opens the vial.


And nearly gags and spits it back out. While Ilka struggles to keep the first mouthful down, Erzsebet nonchalantly knocks the huge Bible down to the floor. She RIPS open the top of the podium on which it rested - the wood splinters easily.

Ilka drinks again, draining the vial.

Erzsebet reaches into the hollow top of the podium, pulls out an ANCIENT SCROLL. Not paper, but a thinly-scraped hide. She carefully unrolls it. Writing in dark brown - blood.
Ilka waits, pale and clammy. Erzsebet points a finger at her, arm outstretched. Then she begins to READ the words from the scroll, written in a dead language.


Mira stops at the heavy doors, rests a beat. She is exhausted - physically, mentally, emotionally. She wrenches one door open and stands on the threshold.

A blanket of snow has made the world outside seem kinder. The sky grows light. Soft rose clouds. A gentle breeze of clean air greets Mira - she breathes it in. Takes one step forward.

Mira stops. Turns back to look inside the castle.


Mira carries a lit TORCH. She touches it to furniture, draperies, the paintings of Bathory. Everything catches on FIRE.


Mira enters, then claps a hand over her mouth. Blood everywhere, but especially around the bodies at the foot of the bed - the kitchen cooks, and ANA. Ravaged.

Mira leans down, closes Ana’s eyes. Then she starts the bed burning.


Mira stalks down the hallways, putting the torch to anything that will burn.

Mira turns. Janos stands in a circle of calm amidst growing flames.

You insolent child.

This castle is evil, and I will suffer its
presence no longer. Leave.

This castle is mine! This land is mine!
Throw down your torch, and I’ll make
your death quick.

You are a plague, and I will die before I let
you harm another of my people.

Then you will die. You think you can harm me?
Defeated, broken, alone?

She’s not alone.
Ilka and Erzsebet walk out of the darkness behind Mira, stand beside her.

What do you think you’re doing, Cousin?

You gave her to me.
Mira and Ilka look at each other for a moment, and then Ilka takes the torch. Walks toward Janos.

Oh, Ilka. You know better.
That’s far enough.
But Ilka does not stop. Janos raises a hand.

Ilka still approaches. Her face shines with determination, belief. Janos bares his FANGS, but when he tries to strike, he cannot. He stares, puzzled.

Your blood flows through my veins.


I can do magic, too, Cousin.
Janos looks back to Ilka. FEAR in his eyes.

Vade retro Satana!

She THRUSTS the torch at Janos. He catches on fire like a dry piece of tinder. The walls erupt into flame. Ilka is thrown back from the force of the fires, her dress alight.

Janos turns and FLEES.

Mira runs up, drags Ilka back from the flames. Beats the fire on her dress out. Erzsebet steps back, careful to stay away from any fire.

Ilka, Ilka!

I’m all right.
Erzsebet displays little concern for her mother. She peers up the way Janos fled.

Dominik. Where is Dominik?

Safe. The baker David and his wife took him across the river.
I told them I would return from the castle with jewels.
Mira shakes her head. Ilka puts a hand to her face.

I’m sorry.

He’s not dead.
Erzsebet doesn’t turn around, still looks down the long hallway. Mira and Ilka lean on each other as they stand up.

Where is he?

The catacombs.

How do you know?
Now Erzsebet turns to face them. A weary, resigned look far older than her years.

He is my blood.

Though no sunlight ever penetrates down here. Mira, Ilka and Erzsebet walk down the narrow aisle. Mira stops, gathers herself. Then continues.

Ilka looks into the cell Mira stopped before passing. A dirty piece of canvas covers a vague human shape. It is stained with blood. Ilka looks at Mira with compassion, but she does not see.

The entrance to the catacombs. The grate hangs OPEN. The sound of dripping water up ahead. Mira takes Ilka and Erzsebet’s hands. Together, they enter.
Holly: Kara Pwndhollywobbles on January 17th, 2011 04:58 am (UTC)
Ok, this is starting to pull the scenes I mentioned together more -- of course. When will I learn to refresh my friends page before posting?

Shannon: bsg katee viperkungfuwaynewho on January 17th, 2011 03:47 pm (UTC)
No, I'm glad you posted that other comment - it was really helpful! Lots and lots of good stuff. And, you know, sometimes someone will comment on something and I may not agree with that particular thought or whatever, but the reason the comment is made will resonate with something else - so it's always good. Always always.
Holly: Billhollywobbles on January 19th, 2011 12:26 am (UTC)
The whole going down to the village thing makes more sense now -- I'd sort of forgotten why they were going down (safety, especially for Dominik) (which, I mean, duh? Not sure at my lack of thinking/remembering there). I really do think part of my problem was not reading it all in a row, now that I'm realizing how much I forgot. I'm glad it was helpful though, especially since whenever I post something like that, part of me's always screaming noooooooooooooooooooooooo she's going to haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, even though you always seem very happy when you respond. ;)
Shannonkungfuwaynewho on January 19th, 2011 12:28 am (UTC)
Dude. DUDE. I can't even begin to tell you about some of the comments I used to get in class - the worst ones were usually from professors! I have such a thick skin, really. I mean, no one read my whole script, wrote "I don't understand how your time travel works" on the front, gave me a B and called it a day, so I'm totes cool.
Hollyhollywobbles on January 19th, 2011 12:36 am (UTC)
UGH. I hate it when they do crap like that. This is slightly off topic, but I turned a paper on Moby Dick (WHILE I HAD THE STOMACH FLU) once and got it back with "I don't really see evidence for your point in the text: C-" on the front. I... just... KILL. Looking back, I think in my fever-induced haze I may have in fact been seeing connections that weren't there. And I realize that if you go to a big university, they're liable to do stuff like that. But seriously, give a girl a chance to rewrite? Please?
Shannon: ad gob angrykungfuwaynewho on January 19th, 2011 02:32 am (UTC)
Sometime I'll tell you the story of my writing professor Mitko (whom we all referred to as FUCKING MITKO). I still sometimes will remember his comments and get so angry that I spent an entire semester in his stupid class.
Holly: Raider bluehollywobbles on January 19th, 2011 12:30 am (UTC)
Also, you'll notice I'm going through a massive read and respond to Shannon's posts -athon -- I actually like to sit down and focus on your stuff, which I haven't had much time to do lately, as opposed to the fangirly stuff which sort of flits in and out of my conciousness. ;)
nhpwnhpw on January 17th, 2011 02:26 pm (UTC)
Does Ilka see the castle as it truly is, in horrible disrepair? If so, is she shocked or surprised by it? Or did she always see it this way?

I like the way these pages scream "GIRL POWER!" Yay for chicks kicking ass. :)
Shannonkungfuwaynewho on January 17th, 2011 03:48 pm (UTC)
Oh, good point about Ilka seeing the castle! I'd forgotten about that - will add that in. It just needs one reaction from her. And yeah, she wouldn't have seen it as it is, and I think that's an important beat for her - that everything was a lie, not just Bathory's supposed love for her.

Finally, I am getting to what I wanted to do this whole time - some girls killing vampires!