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05 August 2011 @ 07:24 am
No subject because I don't care okay I DON'T CARE.  
I had a horrible night's sleep last night.  Hooooooorrible.  It began at dinner, when I came home from work and espied a brand new two-liter of Dr. Pepper.  I couldn't remember the last time I'd had any Dr. Pepper.  The two-liter saw me looking at it and started dancing, very slowly and seductively, the saucy little thing.  "Dr. Pepppppppperrrrr," it sang.  "I'm Dr. Peppppperrrrrr."  So I had a single glass, and while it was very delicious, when you really don't drink pop at all anymore, and it's too fucking hot for coffee, a single glass of anything with caffeine, especially at 6:30 pm, is maybe not the best.

But even that could have been overcome, if someone on my street hadn't decided to go out at midnight and turn on their car radio to KDCK, Loud and Thumpy FM.  And then, like, IDK, chill in their driveway with a Michelob or something.  What are you gonna do, it's Kansas.  So I'm lying in bed, doing that stubborn thing where you yell at your own brain in a stentorian Satan voice.  "GO TO SLEEP.  JUST IGNORE IT AND GO TO SLEEP.  YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP AT AN EARLY GROWN-UP TIME FOR WORK.  SLEEEEEEP!" 

After about half an hour of this, I decide to investigate.  I tiptoe down to the front door and look through the peephole.  The porch light is off, so I basically see nothing at all.  My thought process goes like this:  I can turn on the light, but all I'm doing is heralding my presence to anyone outside.  I can continue to stand here and look through a peephole into blackness.  If I turn on the light, though, the monsters will know I'm here.  But I can't see shit.

I decide to flip on the light, there are no monsters on my front step, so I open the door and listen, which means that I stare really hard into the night with a stupid look on my face.  At this precise moment, there is no thumpy.  I listen and listen, and I imagine whoever it is to be sitting in their car - or, more likely, crouched behind it, probably nefariously - taking a swig of Michelob, laughing and laughing, maybe pointing a little.  I lock back up and toddle off to bed.  A few seconds of triumph.  I showed them!  I turned on my porch light for 1.7 seconds!  They know I mean business.

Five minutes later, the thumpy has returned.  I just laid there and dealt with it, and eventually must have fallen asleep, though I do not remember it.  I only remember waking up with an audible "FNNNNNFFAAAAFFFRRR" and groping my way out of bed and running into shit as I walked down the hallway.  A glance in the mirror confirmed that yes, I will look like Momma from Throw Momma From the Train all day.  My hair is doing....something, my face is sort of pallid and eye-baggy and fuzzy and hazzled (I made that word up just now, it sounds right), and I'm definitely like eighteen inches shorter.  I'm sitting on the computer, peering at the monitor with squinched-up eyes because the thought of putting my contacts in is horrifying, I need to start getting ready now but I'm too tired to put on clothes, the thought of breakfast is making me urg, and a dog is requesting me to please provide him with sustenance, ma'am, oh please, am I not the best dog, do I not guard your every footfall, and I am now realizing that when I ran into aforementioned shit while wobbling down the hallway at top speed, I stubbed my toe and broke the absolute fuckery out of my nail. 

Yes.  An asspicious start.
a universal sigh: Sherlock - Sherlock - three quartersnaushika on August 5th, 2011 12:33 pm (UTC)
Awww, you poor thing. But this entry made me laugh a bit. CAFFEINE IS AN EVIL TEMPTRESS.
Shannon: ad buster boobskungfuwaynewho on August 5th, 2011 06:02 pm (UTC)
Yeah, any time I do that, I'm always lying in bed an hour after I climbed in, wide awake, thinking, "WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I GO TO...oh, right."
enigmaticblues: sheppard sucksenigmaticblues on August 5th, 2011 01:05 pm (UTC)
Oh, man. I have had those nights. I have them frequently, and I know exactly what that voice sounds like. It's a little like Samuel L. Jackson saying, "WOULD YOU GO THE F*** TO SLEEP ALREADY. F***ING INSOMNIA."

My brain develops SLJ's potty mouth when I can't sleep.
Shannonkungfuwaynewho on August 5th, 2011 06:03 pm (UTC)
I rarely have problems falling asleep, so I just don't deal with it well, LOL.
Holly: TNG - P/C Big damn heroshollywobbles on August 5th, 2011 02:48 pm (UTC)
Supersoaker. You need. To puchase. A supersoaker.

Doctor Pepper that bitch.

I hope your day gets better. :/
Shannon: tng couchkungfuwaynewho on August 5th, 2011 06:03 pm (UTC)
LOL why do I need a supersoaker? You have totally lost me, heeeeee.

Eh, my day's fine. I just enjoy bitching. If I were actually having a bad day, I wouldn't post about it. :D
Holly: TNG - Worf bitch step offhollywobbles on August 5th, 2011 06:08 pm (UTC)
For sekrit neighbor soaking of course!!! If it's dark, they can't see where it's coming from, right?

Oh good. That's how I roll, too. Real problems I generally bitch about in person. ;D
Shannonkungfuwaynewho on August 5th, 2011 06:14 pm (UTC)
Shannon: b5 john smileskungfuwaynewho on August 5th, 2011 06:15 pm (UTC)
JK I wasn't done replying. I was going to say, but the idea of sneaking around outside in the middle of the night, all in black like a ninja, ready to spray something with surprise water, would have been fun.

Except for the monsters. :/
sallycandance on August 5th, 2011 03:45 pm (UTC)
I probably shouldn't say that but your entry made me lol very hard, even though my heart goes out to you.

I know how it feels to lie in bed and hate your neighbours for not caring that other people don't have their mixed up sleep-wake-cycle and actually want to catch some shut eye during the night.

If I turn on the light, though, the monsters will know I'm here.
Yes, that's usually what I think when I'm faced with the dilemma of staying in bed quietly or get up and frigging DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE NOISE.

I hope your day gets better, though. But, honestly, upwards is the only way to go from where you are now.
Shannon: b5 gkar daffy hatkungfuwaynewho on August 5th, 2011 06:05 pm (UTC)
Haha, I'm glad it made you laugh. That's why I wrote it! :D
nhpw: Sam thinkingnhpw on August 5th, 2011 05:17 pm (UTC)
What I like about you is, even when you NEED TO BITCH, you do it in such a storytelling way as to entertain us all rather than in a "isn't my life terrible, please feel pity for me" manner. Thank you for that. :)

I'm sorry you didn't sleep last night :( Dude, if that thing with the radio ever happens again, just call the police and make an annonymous noise complaint.

(We once had an upstairs neighbor who, like, practiced his drums in the middle of the night or something. I called him in three times.)
Shannon: tronkungfuwaynewho on August 5th, 2011 06:07 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm glad to entertain. Yeah, 95% of the time, if I have a real, genuine bitch/rant/whine about something, I won't be posting it. The only reason I did this morning is because I thought it would make a good story. (Which is why I'm always baffled when I post something like this and I get the "my sympathies, very srs, have a better day" comments, LOL.)

Yeah, I think the problem is that the music wasn't really that loud, it's just that my bedroom's on the front of the house. We've made noise complaints before, but that's usually when we can see who's out and they're really loud and we know they'll be out there awhile.
cath822cath822 on August 5th, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC)
Heh, I love the specific writer's touch that the jerk (seriously, what a jerk) is drinking a Michelob. I'm just picturing an ad, like "Blast your crappy music! Piss off your neighbors! Drink Michelob!"

I totally hear Samuel L. Jackson's voice in my head too when my brain won't do something that I want it to do. Ha!
Shannonkungfuwaynewho on August 11th, 2011 02:20 pm (UTC)
Heh, well thankfully I haven't heard it happen since. Hopefully it was just a one-time thing. I would hate to have to start dealing with that again; I'm not living in college apartments anymore!
Anne Marieindigoviolet on August 6th, 2011 11:35 pm (UTC)
"The two-liter saw me looking at it and started dancing, very slowly and seductively, the saucy little thing. "Dr. Pepppppppperrrrr," it sang. "I'm Dr. Peppppperrrrrr." "

"I showed them! I turned on my porch light for 1.7 seconds!"

"a dog is requesting me to please provide him with sustenance, ma'am, oh please, am I not the best dog, do I not guard your every footfall,"

This was so funny, I burst out laughing like 4 times :D (Obviously lack of sleep b/c of noisy fuckmuppets isn't funny) but you wrote about it most hilariously. Sleeplessness-induced hyperactivity FTW?

Hope your zombified day wasn't too nasty anywayz
Shannonkungfuwaynewho on August 11th, 2011 02:20 pm (UTC)
Hee, thanks. My day was actually fine; if I have an actual bad day, 95% of the time I'm not going to post about it.
ghanima sun: zoeghanimasun on August 7th, 2011 12:50 am (UTC)
Dr Pepper is my weakness. I am quite the opposite though as I drink it daily. And sometimes I wonder why I can't fall asleep, and it still takes me a while to connect it to the fact I had Dr Pepper two hours before I tried to go to sleep.

Your neighbor sounds outrageously annoying too. That sucks :(
Shannonkungfuwaynewho on August 11th, 2011 02:21 pm (UTC)
I'd like to say I quit drinking pop for health reasons, but mostly I'm just too cheap, and water is free, LOL.
(Deleted comment)
Shannon: b5 sheridan looks downkungfuwaynewho on August 11th, 2011 02:22 pm (UTC)
I've gotten to where if I have caffeine after noon, I'm screwed.

Your icon is v. pretty. *pets*
Martine: Inception/Pissed Cobla_loony on August 11th, 2011 03:54 pm (UTC)
I had that 'fun' in Copenhagen, I stayed with a friend at her cousins place and when we decided to go to bed (it was around 10 because we had to get uo shortly after 4am, to get the train :/) the people upstairs seemed to have on that same radio channel like yours. I would've gone up there to ask nicely if they could turn it down because we don't need to hear it but the other two didn't let meXD

I will work on the beaming technology in my spare time and next time somebody bothers you like this I will come over^^