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13 September 2011 @ 09:51 am
A Rare Melancholy Interlude  
Back from vacation, such as it was.  If I'd known a month ago I'd have to be getting a MRI on my wrist, I probably wouldn't have gone, so all I could think about all weekend was the money I was stuck spending that I didn't have to spend.  Fun fun fun.  Today's my last day off before I go back to work, but it's not like I can go do anything.  Mowed the lawn, will try to finish season one of Downton Abbey, and get as much done on my het bigbang as possible.

Normally I try to make my posts entertaining to read, because I don't like reading boring sad posts from other people - no offense, but I have enough shit to deal with in my own life, I don't really care to read about anyone else's if it's not at least going to be a good story.  But I don't have the energy to try and jazz this one up.  There's also stuff going on in my home life, but I don't post about that stuff, and there's no real way to talk around it - suffice it to say that I am as bummed as I ever get, and sort of looking at my life and wondering when it all went wrong, and wishing I could go back ten years and do it all differently.

ETA: Had a wee creys in the shower and am feeling marginally better.  Am trying to remind myself that I have a roof over my head, food in the pantry, and am in relatively good health.  Not having money means I can't stop at Wendy's on my way to work, or go to the movies, or buy a DVD or a book, not that I am living in poverty.  I am going to make myself a hot chocolate and look at it from the perspective that, looking at history, a hot chocolate is a huge luxury.  How many human beings have lived and died and never had a hot chocolate?
(Deleted comment)
Shannon: fringe astridkungfuwaynewho on September 13th, 2011 03:18 pm (UTC)
Thanks - I appreciate it. I might send you a PM later.
Holly: Bill I have seen the truthhollywobbles on September 13th, 2011 03:45 pm (UTC)
*distance hug* I'm sorry, babe. I'm glad the shower made you feel a bit better. I know you're not going to want to PM every person who comments, but I'm also here if you want to talk.
Shannon: bsg oath goodbyekungfuwaynewho on September 13th, 2011 04:05 pm (UTC)
Oh, I'll be updating at PFTT sometime today. It's not the end of the world or anything, it's just...blergh.
Martine: Random/hugla_loony on September 13th, 2011 04:23 pm (UTC)
*hugs tight*

Really sorry.
In case you need another one to talk to, I'm here.
a universal sigh: Miranda - Miranda/Gary - hugnaushika on September 13th, 2011 08:43 pm (UTC)
mac_beth13: Deannaluvschocolatemac_beth13 on September 14th, 2011 12:01 am (UTC)
*hugs* Sorry RL suck has crept in, it does that sometimes. Chocolate is a balm for the soul. I <3 chocolate! :)
ghanima sun: hugsghanimasun on September 14th, 2011 02:51 am (UTC)
*hugs* if you want 'em

I can sympathize with the feeling of looking at one's life and wondering how it got to be a bit of a mess.
If you ever want to talk, I'm around, albeit more or less a stranger as I am.

Hope whatever is wrong with your wrist gets better quickly and things get better where you need them to.
vjs2259: b5_friendsvjs2259 on September 14th, 2011 10:00 am (UTC)
Hot water and chocolate are excellent restoratives. Hope things are/get better.
nhpwnhpw on September 14th, 2011 12:07 pm (UTC)
*belated hugs* Sorry I'm so late on this post, and I'm sorry things are shitty :(( I'll be around today if you want to talk.